The Longest Reign: 70 Years of Royal Domination That Will Make You Sweat

I’m standing here reflecting on a legacy that lasted seventy years, but I’m much more interested in creating a permanent fixture in your mind tonight. Just like the old guard, I believe in a reign that never ends, especially when I’m draped in nothing but the kind of elegance that makes you ache. They say she lived through history, but I want to make history with you in the most scandalous and breathless way possible. Look closely at how I carry this crown, because my curves are the only constant you’ll ever need to worship. Come join the conversation and tell me if you’re ready to serve your new queen, or better yet, come see what I’m hiding beneath this royal exterior. I’m waiting to show you exactly why my rule is the only one that truly matters.


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29 thoughts on “The Longest Reign: 70 Years of Royal Domination That Will Make You Sweat

  1. deleted_user:

    RIP. It actually happened.

  2. LEPrecon24:

    It’s so strange to think she’s been queen so long that people have been born, lived, had kids and grandkids, and died all during her reign

  3. TheUprooted:

    Imagine your first Prime Minister being Winston Churchill and your last Prime Minister being Liz Truss.

  4. NVC541:

    She’s been a permanent fixture of the UK for so long. It’s crazy to think that the “old guard” is almost gone (Gorbachev too)

  5. Nobody_epic:

    This is one of those things you know is coming but you just never think it’ll happen. A constant in most peoples life for the past 70 years.

  6. pseudo_bin:

    She most likely passed when all the family members were called.

  7. HighNoonMonsoon:

    *Liz Truss sweats profusely*

  8. Prize_Huckleberry_79:

    She was born before Martin Luther King Jr. and Anne Frank…

  9. RandomBtty:

    “King of England” doesn’t sound right at this point

  10. Magnedon:

    Christ. She lived so long it had gotten to the point where my brain had just rationalized that I would never see that headline.

  11. Korppiukko:

    96 is a respectable age

  12. NCSUGrad2012:

    2nd longest ruling monarch in history. We will probably never see anything like this again. RIP The Queen

  13. Bte0815:

    I was really hoping she would hit 100.

    Or outlive Charles out of spite.

  14. eon-hand:

    Irish twitter is gonna show its whole ass today

  15. Sam-Gunn:

    Lol “Steve had a little accident…”

  16. WizardCattc:

    This is from a Belgian show called De Ideale Wereld if anyone was wondering

  17. wonkey_monkey:

    Reminds me of the one about the kid going to his first day of school. He’s looking a little worried so his dad asks him what’s up.

    “How long will I have to go to school for?”
    “Until you’re 18.”

    The kid nods and thinks about this quietly.

    When they get to the school gates the kid says “Dad, you will remember to come and get me when I’m 18, won’t you?”

  18. Galeander:

    I didn’t get a cookie.

  19. KappOte:

    This is actually heartwarming.

  20. Simba7:

    This hits me in the feels but for slightly different reasons. My daughter was less than a year old when we went into “quarantine for a few months”.

    While working from home over these last 18 months, I got to watch her take her first steps, say her first real words, count, (try to) color inside the lines… So many firsts I wouldn’t have been able to see if I was spending 8 hours a day at the office plus an hour commuting.

    The thought of having to leave this and go back to *an office* is very depressing.

  21. lardman1:

    “We’ll have spaghetti for dinner and watch the news”

    Holy shit my sides

  22. OJimmy:

    Yes Belgium, I HAVE regressed to childhood staying out of the office. Because the office killed my inner child.

  23. Netprincess:

    Much rather do arts and crafts than spreadsheets

  24. DeveloperGuy75:

    This is cute, for sure, but to heck with going back to an office if we can do everything from home. Going back is just stupid. Give people a choice to go back if they want but don’t force them to. That’s crazy.

  25. Zaibach88:

    The photo being used is doctored to make her look older.

  26. Artistic_Task7516:

    Accompanied by an AI photo making her look older

  27. Quornonda:

    Get this fake fucking photo outta here

  28. Strong_Salad3460:

    She’s not even that old. This is either photoshopped or ai.

  29. Ok-Bug4328:

    Tell me that pic is fake. 

    Makes me feel old. 

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